so ive been thinking about the possibility of going away for college you know to be able to curse, talk dirty, ect. without the watchful eyes of my family and friends.
It does sound exciteing...for about one day.
It is insane. i went to the facebook of this guy i fell in love with at first sight. christian, funny, and if i could ever put a face to my future hubby it's his face all the way.
and i realized how going away for college isnt for me. Cursing isnt for me, and talking dirty and doing dirty things arent for me. being anything but christian is not for me. that may be exciting for one day but God is exciteing for eternity.
in my mind i see two possible versions of myself. the matue outspoken wise virtious woman of God or the outspoken foul mouth sexual unpredictable version. The latter would put my future husband out reach for possibly ever. If i was a guy i'd want to marry the woman of God version. Thats the true me.
and this isnt about guys. cuz God is my love of my life. and he is real. and i love him.
So i surrender. done playing God. take over indefinitely. bring the man of God in your timing. im open. my heart is open. and instead of sitting here i am going to go to church.
Jesus i love you. and i mean it.
-Veronica
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