alrightie.
So i am way way way too busy. i've always sought to look for new ways to fill my work load to the brim a lil overflow but now i just cant take it anymore. i really dont know how this right now is any more busy than highschool was. i was putting way more hours in highschool but now i just get so stressed out and burnt out so easily, why?
i never use to put in so many all nighters in highschool did i? i think i did everything during school. i am not enjoying this band thing either, it's way more time than highschool, i thought it was less, hah boy was i wrong!!!
i didnt have ballet classes and sooo much dance practice from church did i? i didnt have so many art projects do every second did i?
no idea, but somehow it was not as stressful as this is now.
prior to highschool my life was never busy, since 9th grade my life has been busy busy busy. i want to chillax man. i want to do things i am good at and in a reasonable quantity.
This is the first time in my life that i am swallowing my ambition and saying enough is a enough, i cant do it.
instead of asking what can i add to my life, now im desperate for what i can cut out.
My responsibilities are:
Band
Ballet
cherographed dance at church
sunday praise dancing at church
soon to be guitar and voice lessons
art school
balancing an english major as well
Youth leader at church which includes graphic design(but lately i've been designing for other ministries as well)
okay okay i kind of see all the responsibilities i have now that i never had in highschool.
i love dancing at church and i alllways complain about going to practice but i go cuz i dont wanna see or hear myself complain when i feel left out when they perform. i really want to dance but it's tooooo much.
i think this needs to be structured differently. spread the load. everyone doesnt need to dance every single song.
band band band is history in 2 weeks, i never want to be in a marching band so long as i live. dont qoute me ;)
Ballet. im not cutting that out.
soon to be guitar and voice lessons, that stays, im gonna aproach it as something for fun.
english major, that stays too. i havent even done anything about that tho.
unfortionately art school stays for now lol.
youth leader... no designing for other ministries. capeach? the power of NO
i need a job.
yes thats a lot more time, but i need a car, i feel trapped.
i need a vacation...oh gosh so bad.
two more weeks...just two more weeks hang in there...
i am celebrateing in two weeks. like i need like two full days of doing NOTHING.
i acually hope no one is reading cuz i havent had time to write acual good entries. im just venting.
so burnt out
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